It’s been a while since I updated our Modern Etiquette column (3 years to be

It’s been a while since I updated our Modern Etiquette column (3 years to be exact, yikes!). But every day when I log in to answer comments here, these posts are where people come back again and again to talk, debate and connect. That got me thinking about some of the communication hurdles we’re facing right now in our world and how even the most tense of topics can still be places we’re able to see, hear and understand each other.
So rather than rebooting this column with something light like gift-giving or housewarming gifts, I wanted to tackle the elephant in the room: starting, handling and compassionately ending difficult conversations online. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life navigating difficult conversations online, from the casual troll commenter and vicious personal attacks to the occasional Twitter battle or social media meltdown. No matter who you are, some version of a tough talk will come your way online at some point, and I’ve found there are most definitely some do’s and don’t’s that can help you get through these moments with patience, kindness and respect. It doesn’t require Herculean strength or a psychology degree — just some basic guidelines that will help you connect with your online neighbor (and your in-person neighbor, too). The goal of these conversations isn’t to convert people to your...